MOONLIGHT
by Nymbis
Summary: Of three things I was absolutely certain. One, Stanton was a Follower. Two, there was some part of him that hungered for my hope. And three, I was utterly, and irrevocably, dazzled by him. A crack parody of Twilight. Serena x Stanton, for the most part
1. The Move

**AN: **Not serious in the slightest. Really, expect crack. Lambert as Carlisle crack. Sorry. Based on the movie version for simplicity/brevity's sake. Short fic, five chapters max.

---

_I never gave much thought as to how I would die. But dying for someone I love, seems like a pretty good way to go. _

_Dying for someone with about two ounces of brain matter who fell into a really obvious trap by being an oblivious moron, however, not so much. _

_Remind me to reincarnate as a squirrel and run up his pant leg._

**Moonlight**

Serena sighed as she stared at the distant horizon, the sun slowly setting as she cradled her raccoon Wally in her arms. Behind her, she vaguely registered the frustrated sound of someone trying to cram a surfboard into the passenger's seat of a car.

"So this is goodbye, comfortable Los Angeles suburb," Serena whispered sadly to the slowly disappearing horizon of the small town that totally geographically exists.

"Serena, get your ass in gear!" Came the voice of her older brother as he honked the horn of the car full of all their worldly possessions.

Serena scowled, turning around, "I'm trying to have a poignant and character-establishing moment here!"

"Screw that, I'm bored!"

"Ugh!" Serena said, throwing her arms up into the air with exasperation. Unfortunately, she had forgotten that Wally had been in her arms and was now proudly serving as the first airborne raccoon.

The teenage girl made her way over to the car, glaring at Collin through the rolled down window on the driver's side, "Remind me why you're uprooting me from all I've ever known and loved to move into a crime ridden city?"

Collin rolled his eyes, "We'll be closer to the beach."

"You're moving me out of a high school that offered to pay for college courses!"

"Waves, Serena. _Waves._"

"You're impossible," Serena mumbled under her breath, going around to sit on the passenger's side.

"No way, little sis, Luella's sitting there," Collin said, eying the surfboard next to him.

Serena began to strongly doubt her brother's state of mind when she realized that he had placed the surfboard in a seatbelt. Sighing dejectedly, she once again threw her arms up in the air. Oddly enough, Wally had the coherency to swan dive in that general direction and landed in her hands. With a huff, Serena climbed into the backseat, trying to make room for herself and her amazing flying raccoon in the piles of luggage.

"Alright, we're off to a new life of adventure!" Collin cried triumphantly.

"Great," Serena agreed with much less enthusiasm.

With that, the car drove off into the sunset-

_Two minutes later_

-only to go straight into about three hour's worth of bumper to bumper traffic. Rush hour.

_Three hours and two minutes later_

"We're here!" Collin crowed as they pulled into a driveway that was one school zone and three miles away from their old house.

Serena scratched her head, noticing that the house appeared vacant, "Where are our parents?"

Collin's eyes went slightly vacant.

"_Collin, honey, I'm going to go get some milk and beef jerky down at the corner store. You're okay with watching your sister for about ten to twenty years, right?" Came the saccharine voice of Mrs. Killingsworth as she headed out the door._

_A six year old Collin went back to making a fort out of cardboard boxes. He had left his baby sister in one of them and figured that she would show up eventually._

"It took three days," he muttered absently.

Serena rose an eyebrow, not realizing that Collin was reliving the reason why she was terrified of UPS stores, "What?"

Collin coughed into his hand, "Nothing. Let's unpack!"

---

Serena gave yet another soft sigh as she sorted all of her precious photographs on her new dresser. Pictures of people who lived only one school zone and three miles away were stared at nostalgically. She would probably never see them again. Ever.

A knock on her door disrupted her thoughts, as she turned to see Collin in her doorframe.

"Hey, uh, Serena, some chick wearing gang colors left an unlocked, mostly street legal truck in our driveway and even though you're not old enough for a license I was wondering if you wanted the keys I found in the ignition? There's only a little blood in the backseat."

Serena gave a smile, "Sure, people in Los Angeles sure are friendly!"

Things were looking up. She had only been here a few hours and already someone had given her a free car! Super duper! Maybe school the next day wouldn't totally suck after all…

---

As soon as Serena pulled up into the parking lot, she was positive that school that day was going to totally suck. People's heads turned as the beat to hell truck pulled into a space, mostly because there was something that looked suspiciously like bullet holes through the doors in the cab.

Awkwardly, Serena killed the engine and began to get out of the cab. She tripped slightly on the way out, since she was adorably klutzy. Everyone's stares seemed to burn a hole through her as she made her way towards the front of the building.

"Great, everyone hates me already," she said sadly.

Little did she know, they were all secretly lusting after her average, not at all beautiful looks and wibbling at how adorably klutzy she was.

The poor girl barely made it through the front door when someone suddenly appeared at her side.

"Hi! You must be Serena!" Came the overenthusiastic greeting of a boy that appeared to be her age.

She groaned. Not again, "Look, those pictures up on that website were photoshopped and I really don't have three-"

"My name's Jerome, and despite knowing you for all of five seconds, I totally think you're the best person ever! Everyone else I've met up until this point are complete plebes. Thank you for brightening my existence!" he continued, ignoring her incriminating statement as he walked next to her, inwardly debating whether or not Serena would notice if he cut off a lock of her hair.

"That's nice. But I'm a very smart, capable person so I'm more interested in showing up to class on time, than associating with normal people-"

"I completely understand! Hey, Serena, do you mind if I run an article about you for the school paper?"

Her nose wrinkled, "Um, no thanks-"

"Have a Serena themed meal every Wednesday in the cafeteria? Create and dedicate a minor religion in your name? Oh! How about I get your face tattooed on my-"

Serena sighed, "Look, Jerome, you seem very nice but I don't want to make a bad impression by being late on my first day, so I'll talk to you after school-"

Jerome's eyes grew wide as he said in a very, very quiet voice, "Please love me."

Serena stopped in her step, blinking slowly, "Excuse me?"

Jerome's face transformed back into his eerie smile, "Nothing, see you in gym!" He declared quickly before darting away in the opposite direction.

Serena continued to attempt to process the bizarre encounter, before scratching her head in confusion. She was only mildly disturbed to discover that one of her ringlets was missing.

People in Los Angeles sure were…friendly.

---

Serena had seen a lot of weird classes in her day, having been enrolled in an interpretive arts school for most of junior high, but nothing quite prepared her for the combination gym/orchestra class. To her misfortune, she found herself on the list for indoor bow (the one she played cello with) archery.

The people who set up the curriculum in Los Angeles were way weird. Or had an over enthusiasm for word play.

Sighing, she seemed to be doing a lot of sighing these days, Serena lined up, notching her musical bow into her shooting things bow, eyeing the target when-

"Oh my god Serena I've totally missed you these two hours and forty seven minutes we've been a part!" Came Jerome's head suddenly from under her armpit.

Startled, Serena jerked her arm upwards, the bow shooting off. She quickly looked to see where it was heading, terrified to see it going straight for the students playing bass-ball.

"Watch out!" she cried, as the bow flew perfectly across the strings of a student's cello that he was using to swing, as he was up to bat. The bow made a perfectly romantic musical sound as the batter turned to face Serena for the first time.

Dark, coffee-colored orbs widened in what could only be true love as he stared upon the new girl from the suburbs that had almost killed him.

He was by her side in an instant, down on one knee and pressing an oh-so tender kiss to her hand, "Hello. My name," he tilted his head down, hair dramatically covering his eyes, "Is Zahi. Who are you?"

"Serena?" She said, a bit shocked at the oddity of what had just occurred.

"Oh, hey Zahi, totally awesome play out there," came a somewhat bitchy voice as a beautiful blonde girl made her way over to the horribly confused new girl, "Oh. You must be the new girl. Hate your hair. I'm Morgan. Your shoes suck."

Serena blinked, feeling surrounded by craziness. She slowly moved away from Jerome who was heavily breathing down her neck, and pulled her hand from Zahi's, "I think I need to go home."

"NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME I _NEED _YOU!" Cried Jerome suddenly, inhaling deeply on the hair he cut off from Serena when she wasn't looking.

Everyone stared at him with a mixture of horror and disgust. Jerome laughed awkwardly before tucking the hair back into the waistband of his pants, "I mean, uh, you should totally have lunch with us first."

"Yes, allow me to stare at you for a few more precious moments," Zahi said wistfully.

Serena uncomfortably shifted her weight from foot to foot, more than a little nervous about saying no to these psychos, "Um, what are we having?"

"Chicken patties."

Serena smiled weakly, "Great, I, uh, love chicken patties."

Morgan rolled her eyes, "What. Ever. Just don't eat too many of them, fatass."

---

Lunch at La Brea High School was severely strange, Serena noticed as she was dragged away from the gym/orchestra pit and into the school's cafeteria. Everyone seemed to be sitting together grouped by attractiveness, with one table in the far corner that had a spotlight focused on it and a sign that said 'Reserved' in fancy script. She was pleased to notice that she was able to sit at the table for the second most hottest group of people.

"So, Serena, since we're going to be classmates we should get to know each other better…" Jerome trailed off as he took a seat next to her, Zahi on her other side, with Morgan across from them, "Like what's your sign? Home address? Favorite color? Social security number? Tree closest to your bedroom window?"

Serena backed her seat away from him a little, "Uh…"

"Leave her alone, Jerome," Zahi said distastefully, staring soulfully into Serena's eyes, "Serena deserves to be wooed."

"Oh, barf," Morgan commented tastefully, pulling out a nail file and sharpening her claws.

"Hey guys, is this seat taken?" Greeted a boring girl as she took a seat next to Jerome, "Hi, I'm Corrine. Hate your hair. Your shoes suck."

Serena stared sadly down at her shoes, a finger winding through her hair, "I'm Serena," she introduced herself with next to no enthusiasm.

"I don't really care," Corrine said with a shrug, turning to Morgan, "Pass the ketchup."

Morgan didn't look up from her talons, grabbing the ketchup and squeezing it into Corrine's lap.

"Bitch!" Swore Corrine, standing and dabbing at her pants with napkins.

"Those pants were a travesty," was all she offered in return.

Serena groaned, leaning her face against her hand as she stared out the windows of the cafeteria, hoping that something, anything, would distract her from these obviously insane people…

_Meanwhile, outside the cafeteria…_

"Alright, we're going to go Cassandra, Tymmie, Kelly, and Karyl this time," Stanton said firmly, gesturing towards the entrance of the door.

"What? Why?" Tymmie muttered.

"Because we have to start from least hottest to hottest-"

Karyl blushed simultaneously as Cassandra curled her fingers into a fist.

"-leading up to the beautiful climax that is me walking into a room," Stanton finished easily.

Tymmie groaned, "I'll never understand why Lambert left you in charge when we're at school."

"It takes us at least ten minutes to get organized enough to enter a building," Kelly agreed sadly.

Stanton frowned, "Shut up and assume your rankings of attractiveness!"

There was assorted mumbling from the other members of the Malmaris family, before they grudgingly got into order, but not before Cassandra kicked Stanton in the shin.

_Inside the cafeteria…_

"Who are they?" Serena wondered out loud, noticing a group of impossibly attractive people in coordinated outfits strolling into the school's lunch room with grace and next to no effort.

Morgan sighed heavily, digging around in her purse for a moment before pulling out a notebook. She opened up to the first page and read dully, "Those are Dr. and Mrs. Malmaris's foster kids. They're all impossibly hot and super good at sports and on the honor roll and can only shit sparkles," she flipped the page as the first Malmaris child graced the mundane students with her presence. She took a glare around before linking arms with an equally fabulous boy with bleached blond hair that was dark at the roots. They made their way to the fancy table.

"The mean looking one is Cassandra, she's with the bald guy Tymmie. Like, you know, doing the nasty. Totally gross. Because, I mean, look at them and think about what kind of children that would spawn. Hideous. I'd chuck that baby right off a cliff-"

Morgan, noticing the somewhat horrified stares she was receiving from around the table, tactfully cleared her throat and turned to the next page of the Malmaris Family Stats book just as two more came in.

"The adorable one is Kelly. She has poor eyesight, since she's dating Karyl-"

Karyl pouted. Morgan wasn't exactly using an indoor voice.

"And that leaves us with-" Morgan trailed off as she flipped to the last page, and the cafeteria went silent as the unmistakable sound of chimes filled the air.

All the girls in the cafeteria, plus Karyl, simultaneously let out dreamy sighs.

"Stanton."


	2. The Van

**AN **Sorry for the delay you guys!

**Chapter Two: The Van**

She couldn't tear her eyes away.

He was beautiful, his skin the color of pale milk white snow and his hair a golden sheen that not even sunlight could compare to. His eyes, though, distracted her as she felt herself drown in them. They were pools of yellow-

Wait. Yellow?

The Hell?

Serena stopped her besotted staring as she wrinkled her nose in deep thought, staring at the boy. Who had yellow eyes? Something was amiss, and Serena, who had been a girl detective in her youth, wasn't about to step away from a mystery.

"Don't even think about it," Morgan said, tossing her notebook of Malmaris family stats into a nearby dumpster now that the exposition had been provided, "Stanton's a major hottie, so I'm sure he doesn't see fug."

Serena frowned, looking at the blonde, "Why are you so goddamn mean?"

Morgan laughed, shaking her hair loose, "Because I'm fucking fabulous at it."

---

Meanwhile, across the cafeteria, Stanton sighed wistfully as he sat in the most isolated and tortured corner of the Malmaris official cafeteria table. He was so _alone. _

So terribly alone.

And gorgeous.

But still, all alone.

While he was reflecting on his eternity of solitude, Tymmie stole his wallet.

---

"No, Jerome, really it's fine. I can walk to class, you don't have to give me a piggy back ride," Serena said firmly to the boy who was literally bent over backwards for her. She then turned to her side, "And Zahi, honestly, I can handle carrying my book." It was A book, after all. A paper back novel, at that. Romeo and Juliet, so dreamy.

Zahi gave an adorable sexypout, before somehow acquiring a red rose and placing it in Serena's book, "For you, _ma belle._"

Serena blinked, taking the book and debating whether or not to use a timeless play to beat Jerome over the head until he was unconscious. She coughed, trying to use her French skills as well, "_Merci, tu etait tres de jeune fille!"_ She beamed, thinking that she had called him very helpful.

Zahi paled, before quickly excusing himself, cursing the whole way for not choosing a more manly flower to put in Serena's book.

"Jerome, really, STOP IT," Serena said, sidestepping the insane boy to finally make it to her blessed haven of biology class.

Oh, biology class. Where the magic happened and nothing bad could ever occur. To ensure this, she slammed the door shut on Jerome's face. He collided with it like a pigeon on a windshield.

The room was practically empty, with only a few students sitting, most of whom had their own table all to themselves. Everyone was staring straight at her, their vacant, soulless eyes that were a unique product of years of public schooling made her shrink back into herself. Her uncomfortable feelings weren't helped when a particularly creepy child in the back started whispering something that sounded like "Meat…meat…meat…"

Serena was so rattled that she failed to notice the incredibly handsome and appropriately tormented boy sitting in the farthest, most darkest corner of the room.

Stanton froze upon seeing Serena enter his sacred biology class, her curls wafting ever so slowly in the breeze generated by the room's fan. Slightly interested- but not _that_ interested, since he had a brooding reputation to protect- he assumed his sexy and totally covert mind-reading pose.

Everyone in class took that opportunity to cease the vaguely cannibalistic chanting at the hot new girl and instead swerved to stare at Stanton, the weird but beautiful blond guy who had crossed his arms, jutted his pouty lower lip, and had started to stare intensely at the new girl.

Stanton, oblivious to the fact that the students were totally clued in on his super secret ability, continued his attempt at mind reading towards Serena, who was suddenly _very_ preoccupied with standing in front of the room instead of taking a seat like a normal person. The tinniest of frowns marred his all too perfect features.

Something. Was. Amiss.

Stanton's amazingly intelligent insight was cut off as their instructor, Professor "Please just call me Kendra, the most important lesson I will ever teach you is to stick it to the man" Turner wafted in like a breath of organic air.

"Hello my darlings, aren't you all just super excited to begin the greatest adventure of all time? The adventure of science! Ah, what a wonderful time we live in where we can learn how a tree is made!" Crooned Kendra, wearing a tie-die burlap ensemble and deciding that shoes were not part of the outfit.

"Yes Kendra," droned the class, vacant and soulless eyes in place.

"Oh how wonderful!" Kendra beamed, clasping her hands together, "Well today, oh wait, we have a new little friend!" She seemed to notice Serena standing there awkwardly for the first time, "Why don't you introduce yourself, and share with us your journey on this wonderful trip called life?"

Serena decided that perhaps standing in front of the fan was not the best thing to do, and she made her way over to the teacher, looking severely uncomfortable, "That's okay, I just was wondering where you wanted me to sit-"

"Nonsense!" Kendra cut her off, facing her less than enthused students, "Now class, who wants to tell our newcomer the number one class rule?"

"Strangers are just friends we haven't said hello to yet," they droned. Except for Stanton, who was above such things.

"That's ri~ght!"

Kendra and Serena were both totally oblivious to the fact that Stanton was now squinting really hard at the latter, as if trying to see straight through her. Or to make a poopy. Either or really, as Stanton's intimidating face is about the same as his constipated face.

It was Then That He Realized What Was Amiss.

He couldn't read Serena's mind.

Thinking it was some sort of fluke, he squinted even harder, determined to diverge all of her intensely private and guarded secrets.

Nothing. So either the girl had no brain activity or…

Or…

Stanton was _bad _at something.

A chill ran through his spine, the unique foreboding that one gets before an existential crisis.

"Um, well, my name's Serena-"

"Serena," echoed the Borg-like class.

She faltered a bit, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, "Er, yeah, that's right, and I just moved here from a comfortable Los Angeles suburb with my brother-"

"Brother," came a classroom of voices.

Serena turned to her somewhat dippy instructor, "Do they always do this?"

Kendra blinked behind her owl eyed glasses, "Well of course they do! Reiterating what someone is trying to say is a crucial piece of communication. It's all about _connectivity-_"

Kendra's fuzzy wuzzy rant was cut off as Stanton abruptly stood up, his face as pale as death itself, although far more better-looking, and his nostrils flaring as he pointed a finger at Serena.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

Serena blinked, "What?"

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, pretending to be brain dead, but I will figure it out, mark my words! MARK THEM!" He cried, before picking up his books and storming out of the classroom, taking about two megatons of melodrama with him.

Kendra paused, lips pursed in thought, "Well, that certainly wasn't very friendly. Someone's going to need extra smile therapy when he gets back."

Serena sighed, depressed. The first day of school and already the most popular/gorgeous boy in existence hated her.

Today totally sucked.

---

_The man panted heavily as he sprinted across the beach, widened eyes constantly checking behind him to see if he had finally lost them._

_To his sides blurted dark figures, unrelenting as they chased after him. _

_His side cramped, and he could feel his adrenaline dying down to be replaced by exhaustion. He couldn't keep running like this, he just couldn't. They would find him, and probably kill him. He again berated himself for deciding to take a midnight surf in gang controlled territories. Curse him and his inability to resist the motion of the ocean!_

_He tripped over a seashell, and down he went, face planting in the sand as deep breaths racked his body. He shivered from the cold as his wetsuit was hardly the warmest thing on the planet at the moment._

_He rolled onto his back, and saw three shadowy figures hovering over him._

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?!" He screamed into the darkness, madness overtaking him in what he thought was his final moments._

_The shortest figure, the one in the middle, stepped forward, revealing an impossibly beautiful girl, "Dude, chill. We just wanted to know if you wanted to join us for hot dogs and s'mores down by our bonfire," she pointed down the beach, and sure enough, the man could make out a bonfire fully stocked with wieners, buns, graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallows, and those point sticky things._

"_And if you wanted a freshly pressed towel," said the biggest one on the left, who revealed himself to be an older man with craggy features. In his hands was a fluffy, pink towel._

"_Uh…" the man felt a bit silly for overreacting now as he took the towel, "Thank you."_

"_No sweat," said the girl with a smile as she made her way over towards the bonfire, "Snack time!"_

"_You know," said the final member of the group, a handsome young man in his late teens with dark, curly hair, "You really ought to wear a jacket. Just because its summer time doesn't mean you can't catch a cold."_

"_Er," the man said, getting up to follow the others towards the bonfire, "I'll keep that in mind."_

_The young man nodded, pleased, as they went over to the fire._

_The man ate a gooey s'more. It was delicious._

_---_

Collin smiled happily as he hummed a little ditty, absolutely pouring ketchup down onto some French fries, completely ignoring the metaphorical rain cloud that hovered above Serena's head. French fries, then baby sister's happiness. That's just how it had to be today. The two of them were currently eating at a diner, seeing as Collin had blown up the microwave trying to make pancakes. Serena was currently telling him about her first day at school, making him wish that he hadn't asked the question in the first place.

"And then, he threw his textbooks into the air and stormed out of the classroom. And then, when I went into the principal's office to change my schedule I overheard him talking to the secretary, asking her to do medical tests on me! And then, Jerome jumped out of the backseat of my truck when I was halfway home yelling 'Surprise!' which totally surprised me and almost caused a pile up. And _then-_"

His sister's bizarre recounting of her day was only half heard as Collin chomped down on the oh so crunchy fries.

Both of the Killingsworth siblings were interrupted with their important activities when Collin felt someone tap his shoulder.

"Yo man!" Came a cheerful boy who looked to be about Collin's age, red hair jutting out from underneath a helmet.

"Dude, Derek, what's up?" Collin asked doing the standard bromantic welcome of high fiving, shaking hands, and then pounding.

"Not much, just got done skating at the park," he looked over and saw the other occupant of the table, "What's up? I'm Derek."

"Serena," she said halfheartedly, remembering what happened the last time she had introduced herself.

"Bitchin'. Anyway, Collin, a few of us were thinking about going surfing in gang related territories tomorrow, _the night where there's no moon,_ you down?"

Serena gasped. Gang related surfing territories? "That sounds downright dangerous!"

Collin rolled his eyes, "Serena, what am I always telling you? No Fear-"

"Collin, you said that about the alligator farm."

Collin smiled nostalgically, "Oh yeah."

"And the sky diving."

"…Oh yeah," the smile waned a bit.

"And the time you decided to go slip and sliding off that cliff-"

"Oh…yeah," the smile was gone now.

"_And _the-"

Collin abruptly turned to face Derek, "You know, I'd love to man, but I've got a thing. I'll take a rain check though."

Derek nodded, pounding that shit yet again as his and Collin's fists bumped, "Bitchin'. Well, I'm out then bro, nice to meet you, Female Collin!" He said before he hopped on his skateboard and skated away, despite the fact that they were in a carpeted, indoor seating area.

"It's SERENA!" She cried after the skater boy.

"He's pretty chill. I met him this morning and decided that we should be BFFs," Collin said easily, squirting out some more ketchup.

Serena sighed, looking down into her lap. Even _Collin _was making friends, was there something wrong with her? If only she had a best friend that she knew from so very long ago-

Serena was interrupted when the waitress came by the Killingsworth table.

"Yo, you done drowning your sorrows in tomatoes and vinegar?" Came a sassy voice that Serena somewhat recognized. Startled, Serena looked up and was surprised when she read the nametag.

"Jimena?"

The girl, who had gang tattoos and a rather intimidating posture, popped a hip, "That's what the nametag says."

Serena's jaw dropped, "Jimena Castillo?!"

Now Jimena looked quite a bit freaked out, her fingers drifting to her sidearm that she always kept on her _just in case, _"You with Wilshire? Because I will step on your neck if I have to-"

"Chill, it's me, Serena!"

The violent girl's eyes widened, "No way!"

"Way!" Squealed Serena.

The Diner of Friendly Acquaintances was surely the last place Serena thought she would run into her best friend from grade school. Jimena had gone to Serena's old elementary back when she lived a school zone and three miles away. But, as soon as she and her abuela had moved into the city, Serena had never, ever seen her again.

The two hugged. Collin finally looked up from his French fries in order to check out the waitress's bum when she was preoccupied.

"Wow, Jimena, now that I finally found a friend I'm pretty sure today isn't going to totally suck!" Serena said happily.

Jimena smiled back, "I'm glad, but Serena…"

"Yes, best friend?"

"Tell your brother to stop ogling my ass or I'm going to have to castrate him with the shards of a broken ketchup bottle."

Collin swallowed hard, and handed the bottle back to the waitress, "Memo sent."

---

The next few days flew by insanely fast, and as Serena dodged romantic affections from Zahi and Jerome, and bitchy attacks by Morgan and Corrine, she realized that Stanton and his insanely hot family had not reappeared at all in any of their classes. Not that she was stalking them or anything…she just noticed, that's all…no harm in an observant mind…

She frowned when she noticed that the seat next to hers in biology was empty yet again. Kendra had assigned the pair to sit next to each other despite the fact that the class was practically empty in an attempt to 'bridge the chasm of communication.'

However, as soon as she sat down she smelled the unmistakable scent of manliness with the faintest hint of freesia, Stanton's smell, to be sure. Her green eyes widened as she watched him stroll into the biology class effortlessly and take his seat without any preamble.

Serena opened her mouth to speak to him, but she was cut off as Kendra decided to make her illustrious appearance.

"My children, I hope you are all ready for the exciting adventure rollercoaster that is cell mitosis!"

Serena groaned, and she was surprised to see that Stanton was staring at her not with a look of constipation, but with his most dazzling smile.

"What?" Serena asked.

"Nothing," whistled Stanton.

She frowned, but couldn't find it in herself to stay angry at such a good looking boy. She shook her hair, before quickly getting ready to start categorizing some cells.

---

As soon as the bell signaling the end of class rang, Serena swept up her books (including accidentally jacking the microscope. Oopsie.) and made a beeline for the exit. She was surprised when Stanton suddenly appeared by her side.

"I couldn't help but notice how exceptional you are at placing slides in order," he complimented smoothly as he walked beside her.

"…um. Thanks," she said uncomfortably, walking a little faster.

"It confirms that you're not brain dead," he said with a dazzling nod.

Serena outright glared at him for that comment, "Thanks, I wouldn't have known with out you." She paused, "Why are you talking to me?"

Stanton blinked like an innocent little toddler, "Isn't it normal for lab partners to get to know each other?"

She pouted slightly, "The other day you openly threatened me in class-"

"And what a fond memory it is for me too," Stanton brushed off airily.

She scowled, "Do you suffer from mood swings or something?"

He paused, looking actually quite flabbergasted, "No, of course not! Just the occasional character reinvention every few books or so, no big deal," he said, staring pointedly out into a distance Serena could not see, "No. Big. Deal."

She coughed uncomfortably, "Well, that's nice. But I have to get going now so-" she fell silent as she looked him in the eyes for the first time, "Did you get contacts or something?"

Stanton gaped, "That would imply that I have a physical flaw! I'm too _lonely, _and _tortured_ to have physical flaws."

"Oh…I just could have sworn they were yellow earlier. Now they're a beautiful baby blue-"

"Periwinkle, but who cares about the shade?" Stanton said with a shrug of the shoulders, "And they've _always _been periwinkle, and they _will never be anything other _than periwinkle."

Serena took an uncomfortable step backwards, "That's…oddly intense."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't really a compli-"

Serena was cut off as she felt something latching onto her arm like a barnacle.

"Serena, my love!" Cried Jerome as he appeared from nowhere, dragging his obsession towards the opposite side of the school, "I made a still life portrait of you out of your hair in art class, you simply MUST see it!"

"Um, okay," Serena said uncomfortably as she was hauled like a piece of luggage, calling over her shoulder, "I'll talk to you later?"

Stanton said nothing, only gave a suave and sexy nod before seemingly vanishing into shadows.

---

Serena breathed happily as she exited the school building, having pried herself away from Jerome at last. She unwisely had ipod earbuds in her ear as she listened to terribly trendy music and made her way across the parking lot towards her truck.

Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced and saw Stanton glowering sexily at her from across the lot, standing to his side was an adorable blonde girl that Serena recognized as Kelly and a really bitchy girl who had to have been Cassandra as she was not blonde like Morgan.

Shaking her head, she tried to hide her blush as she fumbled with her keys to get into the cab of the beastly truck. So absorbed was she with her task as well as listening to uber trendy music that she didn't see or hear the van coming until it was too late.

A rustic VW van pulled up alongside Serena's truck and the back door slid open, Serena was startled and dropped her keys as well as her ipod.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw who was standing inside of the open door. It was only the clean-cut, captain of the water polo team Michael Saratoga. What a relief. He certainly wasn't a threat in anyway.

"Hey there," he said, smiling in a way that made him compete with Stanton for most Sexiest Thing to Ever Sex, "Want to check out my van?"

Serena blinked rather dumbly, "Why?"

Michael whistled innocently, "No reason."

Serena shrugged, "Sounds safe enough," she reasoned aloud, before taking Michael's outstretched hand-

-only to have it promptly slapped away by Stanton's.

"Oh, Michael," Stanton said in a long suffering tone, shielding Serena with his body, "We've been _over _this."

Michael glared at the blond, "Stanton!" He hissed.

Stanton took the opportunity to look inside Michael's van, "Ugh, no rose petals?! Would it kill you to have any sense of romanticism? There's not even mood music playing for chrissakes!"

Michael frowned, "Rose petals are messy-"

"That doesn't explain why there's no red velvet on the seats, or chilled champagne, or handwritten poetry, or-"

Serena processed what had almost just happened, and she felt her jaw go somewhat slack as Stanton continued to rattle on about what a love van needed to be a _romantic _love van.

"And you're not dressed up nicely-_get a haircut you damn hippie-_, and there's no chocolate dipped strawberries, or a down blanket or-"

Serena blinked, as she witnessed something that could possibly shake the very core of her life forever.

Stanton…

"And you didn't even look into her eyes soulfully as you attempted to woo her, nor did you seek her guardian's consent, you didn't even _court _her-"

Stanton was…

"Nor did you even apologize for startling her. Would it kill you to take into account _her _feelings and not just your own? How about giving her some time? You've only known each other for two days and already you're making a move! Some girls need their space just as badly as boys do!"

Stanton was _sensitive._

Serena felt as if her very foundation crumbled underneath her feet. A dangerous, sexy guy who was sensitive and romantic to boot? She thought those had only existed in myths and old legends-

Serena's revelation was cut short when, for no apparent reason, a baseball bat came crashing down on top of her head, knocking her unconscious.

Stanton paused his rant on proper seducing when he heard Serena crumple to the ground. He swerved around, a very pissy look on his face when he noticed Tymmie standing above Serena with a bat in hand.

"Tymmie! What do you think you're doing!"

Tymmie shrugged, "Cassandra said that people would be less likely to believe her if she suffered head trauma."

Stanton frowned, "Believe her saying what?"

Tymmie looked down at the unconscious teenager on the ground, to his leader, back to the girl, "You mean…she didn't just witness you using your super secret Follower powers and outing our lifestyle to the world?"

Stanton ground out between clenched teeth, "No. She didn't."

Tymmie shrugged, "Oh, I guess Cassandra was just feeling extra bitchy today and wanted me to deal her an injury with a blunt object." He said it so matter of fact that it was as if he beat fifteen year olds in the skull all the time. Tymmie seemed to notice Michael for the first time, who had fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of Stanton's ranting, "Want me to knock him out too?"

Stanton sighed, and gave a shrug. After all, in for a penny…, "Why not?"

Tymmie smiled before hitting Michael in the head as well.

Stanton then bent down, scooping Serena up into his arms, "We should probably get her to Lambert."

Tymmie nodded, before looking at Cassandra, knowing his girlfriend was in for a stern talking to by Stanton when they all returned to Casa De La Malmaris.

---

**Phew, this chapter was a beast. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Next Up: Dr. Lambert and his charming family.**


	3. The Hospital

**The Hospital**

The sound of barefoot feet slapping against the hospital hallways was the only noise in the almost empty building as Collin ran to the receptionist's area.

A man in floral printed scrubs and librarian classes perched lowly on his nose didn't even notice the winded teenager as he typed away on a computer.

"Yo dude, I need to know where-"

The man said nothing, merely looked over his shoulder, sent Collin a Look from over the rims of his lenses, and returned to his game of minesweeper.

"Bro, this is an _emergency-!_"

The man sighed heavily, knowing that his possibly record breaking time was already shot to hell, and minimized his screen. "Yeeeeeeeeees?"

"I need to know where Serena Killingsworth is, the school called me to pick her up," Collin said heavily.

The man let out an annoyed huff of air, rolling his head around in a manner that implied looking up room numbers was the most _grueling _experience in the world, "Are you family?"

"Yeah bro, I'm her…bro!"

The man sighed, "And her guardian?"

Collin scratched the back of his head, "Well, pretty much."

"Pretty much?"

"Technically, our dad's our guardian but he's kind of away on business all the time and our mom's a deadbeat whore."

"Ahh," the man pointed his thumb over his shoulder, "Down this hallway, third room on the left."

"Bitchin' dude."

"Yes, quite bitching."

---

When Serena awoke, she was more than a little surprised to see that she was in a hospital room, her clothes gone and a hospital gown in their place. She blinked slowly, pushing herself up to get a view of her surroundings.

Oh great. _Michael._

"Hey sleeping beauty," he said, his smile revealing that one of his teeth had been knocked out.

"Hi…you."

"Still sore about the van thing?"

"No, just potentially scarred forever."

Michael did a fist pump, "Better than usual! Go Michael!"

Serena quickly made sure her gown was covering her bum.

The unsettling conversation was interrupted as the twin doors to their room blew open mystically, an incredibly handsome man smoothly walking into the examination area, wind from an unknown source blew delicately through his shoulder length white hair, and when he stopped in his step, Serena swore he winked.

"Hello," when he spoke, his voice was like a seraphim choir, "I'm Dr. Malmaris."

"Hi!" Michael said with a wave, and just like that the magic was gone.

Dr. Malmaris sighed, pulling up a clipboard from somewhere, he oh so hated when his entrances were ruined, "How are you feeling?" He pointedly addressed only Serena.

"Okay I guess."

"Hm…troubling," the doctor wrote something down on his clipboard.

"What about me?" Interrupted Michael, "Bright light hurts me, and I'm pretty sure I felt some blood trickling out of my ears-"

Dr. Malmaris scowled at the boy, whipping out a Hello Kitty! bandaid and slamming it on his forehead, "Oh, man up!"

Michael clutched at the heavily bruised area that Dr. Malmaris had just agitated and let out a whimper.

"Doctor, that really hurts-"

Dr. Malmaris glared at the boy levelly, "I am going to punch you in your fool mouth," he said flatly, "If you don't shut your goddamn trap."

Michael went wide-eyed and looked at Serena in a 'is this guy for real?' sort of way. Serena merely shrugged, her palms going upwards with the movement in a 'what can you do?' sort of way.

Dr. Malmaris then turned to Serena, "Well my dear, I'm so happy that you've fully recovered from that baseball bat to the back of the skull-"

Serena frowned, "Actually, my vision is kind of blurry, and sometimes I go crosseyed-"

He rattled on as if he didn't hear her, "-but I regret to inform you that you'll have…_plot specific amnesia._"

Serena grasped the front of her hospital gown, "No!"

Dr. Malmaris's eyes bulged as he threw aside his clipboard and gripped her shoulders, "YES!"

Serena threw her head back, "Oh god!" Then, she seemed to collect herself, "Wait, what the hell is plot specific amnesia?"

"Plot specific amnesia is a rare occurrence that seems to be particularly fond of young teenage girls. You won't remember anything from, say, fifteen minutes before the blow to the back of your skull."

Serena frowned, "But…I'm pretty sure I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I mean, Michael tried to bonk me in his love van-"

Michael winked and fired off his pointer finger like a gun in her direction.

"-and then I realized Stanton was…" Serena's eyes widened, "Stanton was…"

"Plot specifically forgotten?" Dr. Malmaris prompted with a hopeful expression.

Serena scratched the back of her head, "…I guess."

Her doctor clapped his hands together in rapid succession, "Oh _good,_ I'll sign your release papers then, not like I was going to keep you in the hospital until you forgot about Stanton or anything."

With that, the strange man left the room, leaving Serena to awkwardly shift away from Michael as he took a seat next to her.

"So…come here often?"

She groaned, "You know, all of a sudden I feel this huge compulsion to wander around aimlessly."

With that, she shoved off the hospital seat and started walking.

And that is how Serena, who was still clad in her gown and feeling slightly more nosy than usual, decided that prowling around in a darkened hospital alone after receiving a horrendous concussion was the thing to do. Ah, what a safe way to get some exercise and avoid Michael that surely wouldn't lead her to uncovering some life altering secrets-

"I can't believe you Stanton!" Came a rather bitchy voice from around a conveniently placed corner.

Serena gasped, she knew a guy named Stanton who was at times unbelievable! Equipped with either a youthful curiosity or the inability to mind her own business, Serena pressed herself against the corner and peered around.

There, she saw Dr. Malmaris, that crazy whore Cassandra, and Stanton- the creature of myth. Her eyes narrowed, perhaps eavesdropping could give her the answers she was looking for, like why the hell did she get hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Curse that plot specific amnesia!

"Me? I can't believe you got Tymmie to hit Serena in the back of the head with a baseball bat for reasons that at this moment I shall now thoroughly explain!" Stanton said, hair becoming fashionably mussed in his fury, "Those reasons being that you're a paranoid, jealous harlot!"

Serena's eyes widened, wow. That worked out rather well. Now if she could only discover how Michael was involved in this…

"Me? I thought I was telling you how Michael was involved in this-!" Cassandra seethed.

Serena's eyebrows furrowed. Okay…this was weird. And although she was happy at finally getting some answers, she still had to wonder about her doctor's mysterious attitude when he went to check up on both her and Michael…

"If you'll allow me to interrupt your screeching," Dr. Malmaris said calmly, "Both of you are idiots. Your actions have forced me to hold a mysterious attitude when checking up on my patients in order to protect…our SECRET."

Serena clenched the fabric above her heart and gasped. A secret? HOW COULD THIS BE? She hoped it would be explained in thorough, plot ruining detail…

"Our SECRET which, of course, is that we're a family of-"

"SERENA I FOUND YOU!" Yelled Collin, interrupting Serena's nosy prying to squeeze her in a bear hug and twirl her around,

"GodDAMN it," Serena ground between clenched teeth, seeing that her brother's bear hug had alerted the family of her presence. Before she knew what was happening, she was set back down on the ground and face to face with Stanton.

"Oh, hi Stanton," she said with a smile.

Stanton, who was looking gorgeously pained, quickly said, "Hey, we can't be friends anymore, kthxbai," punctuating his sentence was a sharp heel turn and a quick sprint down the hospital hall.

Confused, Serena called after him, "We weren't really friends in the first place!!"

"You know some weird people," Collin said, scratching the top of his head.

---

_The next day…_

"Alright my children, make sure everyone has their tinfoil hats attached to their thinkers and their informative brochure about Area 51!" Kendra crooned, slamming what appeared to be leftover sandwich wrappers onto the tops of her students' heads. Stanton, in particular, looked rather displeased.

Serena thumbed open her brochure, scanning the articles while the class waited in line to board the buses that would take them to Roswell, New Mexico. She wondered, not for the first time, about the school's outrageous amounts of money that would let a biology class go several hundred miles for a field trip.

"Okay, now I hope everyone has found their study buddies, because Roswell is famous for abducting people-!" Kendra called out over the crowd, but she was interrupted as several, black jeeps with tinted windows rolled up alongside the buses, men in crisp black suits and sunglasses pouring out of them and heading towards the bizarre biology teacher.

Kendra's eyebrows shot straight up to her tinfoil hat, "Oh no you don't! The man will not silence me! THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH-!"

Two men walked up to Kendra, one of whom leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Kendra went still and pale as the other man knocked her tinfoil hat to the ground and stomped all over it.

Kendra was halted as the man who had whispered into her ear grabbed her brochure and ripped it cleanly in half, the scattered remnants falling to the ground with a deathly finality.

And then, as quickly as they had come, the government left.

Kendra shakily smiled at her students, "So, um, who's up for a trip to the greenhouse in the back of the school instead?"

Several groans were heard.

Serena sighed, her gaze once again going towards Stanton, the dreamy boy with a plot specifically forgotten secret. His periwinkle eyes met hers across the crowd and she leaned against the school wall.

There was so much _tension._ It was so romantic yet unbearable.

"Hiya! I'm Kelly!"

Serena squealed like a stuck pig when she felt a tiny, cold finger tap her on the shoulder. She spun around and looked down, surprised to see a blonde, beautiful girl smiling up at her.

"Oh my gosh, I'm _so _sorry I didn't mean to scare you!" Kelly said happily, grabbing Serena's hands with her own and bouncing up and down excitedly.

Serena looked away from Kelly, noticing the lanky, dark haired boy standing behind her. His face was screwed up intensely, as if he were in such terrible pain that no one could ever understand, as if two sides of him were always at war-

"Hey, Kelly, I'll be right back. I have to take a shit," the boy said, waving her off and heading towards the restrooms.

Kelly giggled, her voice sounding like chimes, "Oh, that's my boyfriend Karyl. He's a character-

Serena looked thoughtfully into the distance, "We're _all _characters-"

"-but I'm really happy to meet you! Cassandra's been bitching about you nonstop so I figured you were a halfway decent human being!" Kelly held out her hand for Serena to shake.

Serena smiled happily, relieved to find at least one normal person among the crazies of her high school-

And Stanton promptly appeared and slapped Kelly's hand away.

"You're totally talking to her! I thought you promised me you weren't going to talk to her. Ohmygawd, you never listen! You lying whore!"

Kelly and Serena both blinked, taking a few steps away from the hyperventilating Stanton.

"We pinky sweared, Kelly. Pinky. Sweared," Stanton glared at Serena, "How dare you!" He turned away and practically sprinted to the greenhouse.

Kelly giggled nervously into her hand, "Stanton's a bit melodramatic."

Serena rolled her eyes, "I've noticed."

"Well, those compost piles aren't going to look at themselves!" Kelly chirped, roping her arm- cold, it was _so _cold- through Serena's, and forcing her along towards the greenhouse.

When they got there, Stanton was over his fit, his hands folded over his heart as he stood, staring at the flowers with a nostalgic, far away expression. A sliver of sunlight filtered through the greenhouse canopy, lighting his beautiful hair and making it seem as if it were made of thousands of tiny diamonds.

"This flower reminds me of you," Stanton whispered, a pale, noble hand cradling a dandelion.

Kelly pointed at herself in confusion.

"No, not you, you traitorous whore. My love interest," Stanton muttered, his voice not breaking character at all.

Kelly pouted.

"Um, Stanton, that's a weed-" Serena said with some distaste.

Stanton flung his hands away, accidentally ripping the dandelion out in his fit of melodrama…_again,_ "And like a weed you're always there! I try to smother you with pesticides but you always sink your roots into my heart. Oh, toil, is this miserable existence-"

Kelly pulled on Serena's elbow, "Um, let's go look at the trees-"

Serena backed away from the monologue, "Good idea."

"If only I were a tiny ladybug, crawling over your golden petals in search for harmful bugs, but alas! It is _I _who is the harmful bug, eating away at your beauty! And tell me, a bug may love a weed, but where shall they live? The world was against us from the very beginning my dearest, sweet dandelion-"

Kelly patted Serena's hand consolingly, "He's always like this."

Serena stared at her in amazement, "How do you live with him?"

Kelly sighed, "Drugs, mostly."

"--if only I, too, were a weed. But I am damned to be a beautiful orchid, greeting the morning's sun and overshadowing you--"

"He doesn't really stick to his metaphors, does he?"

"I think he doesn't realize he's making a metaphor."

"…Troubling."

"You have no idea."

---

_He smiled, his hand finally stopping over the spot on his board that he had finished waxing. It was a beautiful night, the stars shining brightly enough to cover up the fact that the moon was gone. The waves crashed against the shoreline, almost like they, the waves, were in fact waving at him. He waved back, then smoothed his hand over his long, red hair, enjoying the total chillness of this moment._

"_Surf's up," he muttered, standing up and holding his surfboard under his hand, his bare feet slapping against the soft, cool sands of the gang controlled beach._

_The water was cold when he dove in, and he inhaled deeply after he surfaced, his red hair flipping out behind him like a certain Disney mermaid princess. Using his arms, he pushed himself up onto his board, straddling it as he awaited his totally bitchin' wave._

_He was shocked, therefore, when something hooked onto his ankle, causing his board to flip over and cast him into the merciless sea. His head smacked onto the bottom of the board, and all he remembered before blacking out was how he was going to die a virgin…_

_He didn't notice a strangely hot and strong girl dive in after him, pull him to safety, and start CPR. That's because he was unconscious. Unconscious people don't notice that sort of thing._

_She pressed her lips against his, pumping his heart into actions with her fists. _

_He coughed out sea water, his blurred eyes focusing on a totally hot bodalicious babe in a skimpy swimsuit._

"_God?" He hoped._

_She giggled, "Not exactly, are you alright? You took a rather nasty bump on the head."_

_He sat up, rubbing the back of his skull, "Yeah, no biggie." He brushed his blood covered hand against the sand, not wanting a little thing like a possible brain hemorrhage ruining his first time talking to a girl._

"_I'm glad, me and my friends saw you paddling out," she said, gesturing to two men standing behind her. One was a large man with craggy facial features, the other a smiling, charming young man with really neat ankle bling._

"_We're so glad we rescued you from the sea, aren't we?" The beautiful girl asked her two companions._

_The bigger man crossed his arms over his chest, "I hate the sea. Fish fuck in it."_

_The girl who had given him both the breath of life and a great view of her tits giggled nervously._

_The younger man laughed, "Well, how about I go grab the fluffy towels and finger foods, we'll have ourselves a beach bonanza!" _

"_That sounds wonderful!" The girl agreed._

"…_As long as there are no fish," agreed the older man._

_The boy took off, the man following behind him._

_He was alone with the babe._

"_So…wanna make out?" The hot babe asked._

_He shrugged, "Sure."_

_They made out. It was bitchin'._

---

**Next Up: The Beach **


End file.
